By Koay Chuan Lek
There be three things which are too wonderful for me, yea four which I know not:
The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent upon a rock; the way of a ship in the midst of the sea; and the way of a man with a maid.(Prov 30:18,19)
When a man falls in love with a woman, the Bible describes it as something which is too wonderful. I fully attest to it. Looking back some forty-something years ago, those moments of just sitting together and holding each other’s hands, looking at the moon and the starry night sky or sharing a drink during breakfast and watching the sun rising early in the morning with the air still fresh and the dew still glistening on the leaves. Clasping our hands while sitting close together listening to the sound of the falling rain, and thunder and lightning flashing in the sky were wonderful moments to cherish. I am glad to read that it is God’s commandment for husbands to love their wives (Eph 5:25).
A recent news incident reported that a middle-aged man beat up his wife for driving his BMW car and accidentally scratching the paint work. One wonders how a man who is supposed to love his wife could injure his wife until she needed three stitches on her face.
The ways and wisdom of this world portray loving one’s wife as the showering of flowers, nice dresses, rings and diamonds, saying loving words and making promises with poems and emotional songs that pull at the heartstrings and make the heart flutters. Yet we often notice that marriages that are built on this framework of style and grandeur often break up or are full of unhappiness. Love is just a four letter word and could bring plenty of misery especially when there is much wealth involved.
God’s commands and instructions for His children and those who put their trust in Him are achievable and will result in happy, joyful relationships between husbands and wives and a home where children can grow up happily.
So how does a husband love his wife? It is very important that before getting into marriage, a man must know what marriage is all about and that loving his wife is different from loving your parents,your brothers and sisters or your friends.
From the beginning of time when Adam was naming the beast, he found none in them suitable as a companion. God recognized this when He said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18). Thus God created Eve the first woman and presented her to Adam and they became one. The oneness that had been in Adam was restored in marriage. Paul the apostle wrote, “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself” (Eph. 5:28).
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife and the two shall be one flesh” (Eph. 5:31).
Likewise the marrying couple must understand that marriage is a covenant between a man the husband and a woman the wife with God as witness. “Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou has dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant” (Malachi 2:14).
The woman then becomes his life-long companion for Paul said, “the woman which hath a husband is bound by the law to the husband so long as he liveth” (Rom 7:2).
The Hebrew writer said, “Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge (Heb 13:4 NASB). This physical union between a man and a woman mentioned in Heb 13:4 is sacred in a lawful marriage (or covenant).
It is a privilege that a husband or wife is not to refuse to his lawful partner — “Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time,” (I Cor7:5 NASB). Outside of marriage this physical union is fornication or adultery.
And for this covenant given by God is between one man and one woman. Paul said, “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church:” (Eph 5:23).
The scriptures command that wives be in subjection to their own husbands as to the Lord (Eph 5:22).
“Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing” (Eph 5:24).
“And the wife must see to it that she respects her husband” (Eph 5:33 NASB).
So for a happy, joyful marriage and a family where children can grow up in the nurture of the Lord, husbands must have this commitment such as I make to my wife:
“As a husband I will love my wife as to the will of my Lord. As long as I live until death do us apart, I will always love you my only wife dearest in my heart (I Cor 7:39) as you have subjected yourself to me your only husband and to respect me as unto the Lord in everything as unto the Lord (Eph 5:22, 24, 33).
I will always lead, take care of you, provide all your needs, protect, encourage, love and give myself for you and our children as I imitate and learn of God (Eph 5:1,2,23).
Fornication and all uncleanness, covetousness, filthiness, foolish talking or jesting or idolatry will I not partake. But I will continue to give thanks to God as we are his beloved children and continue to walk together in the light and may our inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God be granted us. May you and I and our children by the grace and mercy of our Heavenly Father let us dwell in the house of the Lord forever (Eph 5:1-14; Psa 23:6).”